Sunday, November 30, 2008
stayed at home and rot der whole day. didn't do any homework. didn't study at all. didn't have der mood. why are relationships so troubling? wrong. ii ain't even in a relationship. why am ii feeling so troubled? ii was thinking abt him n his daughter der whole day. think until ii wan qi si alr. argg. fcuk lahhs. why can't ii stop thinking?! then his mummy called tell miie tml ii can't go. cus alvin's sister going. nort enough space to seat 5 people. argg. mad. pissed. dun understand why ii am feeling like this also. ii hate it luhh..
9:49 PM
Saturday, November 29, 2008
today went to zhen dong house, pass his mummy some bks to let him read inside. thn see his room so dirty. so help him to pack up lols. tidied his room. saw der bottle ob hearts his daughter gave him. can't help feeling jealous. dun understand why also.. sometimes ii wished he didn't have so many girlfriends. ii wished he was like hui xiang de boyfriend. only keep himself to his brothers. dun have much female sex frens. thn hui xiang wun jealous.. too bad ii ain't her. okies. ii dun wan to think abt it alr.. think until ii can go mad. start screaming into der pillow like some mad woman. maybe ii ain't worthy ob euu. tired alr ob life alr. tired ob thinking alr. bye.
11:24 PM
Friday, November 28, 2008
ii woke up at
4am today. cus ii wanted to go wit zd's mummy go see him.. bathed and did everything. thn ii cab down to his house find his mummy.
after we met, went down to der carpark there to wait fer alvin's father to fetch us there. der adults were talking in der car. say children do this kinda thing. most xin ku de. is still der parents. ii agree lols.. dar arhhs. when euu come out. must
change fer der
better le wors. dun upset ur mummy again. she
cried alot fer euu euu noe? so when euu come out. must treat her well kayys? dun make her
worry fer euu le. and
dun do stupid things wit alvin and er zi le. or rather. euu do le dun let police catch hors. hahas. ii am just kidding..
after tat waited one and a half hr to see euu. cus we wan to be early. so we was der first. thn must wait nors. bo biian. thn chatted wit alvin's bro. after der thingy open ii was so
excited luhh. cus can
see euu mahhs. wan to noe how euu are getting along.. wanted to cry de nors. but ii noe if ii cry euu sure cry de. so ii tolerate.. but ur mummy cried. makes miie wan to cry also. nevertheless, ii still force myself to smile at euu. ii am happy to see ur smile. and euu are still as
cheeky as usual. still can joke say there der food is worst than my cooking. is my cooking tat bad? okies. ii admit. it is. but ii cook instant noodles quite
delicious de okies! ii am happy to noe tat nobody
bully euu when euu were inside. so scared euu will get beaten up or wat uhh.. hope euu have read my letter by now.
euu are missed. as per always.
aft tat ii went home put down der stuffs. thn pack back go to sch. super beat uhh. didn't really studied fer my test. but nbm.. ii think ii can still pass. cus god will bless miie. hahas. no luhh. is wat little thing ii studied came out. okies. god is really looking after miie. hahas. thank god!
after sch went to eat wit jerrold they all. took
wrong bus cus jerrold hear wrong. instead ob bus 76, we took bus 72. suppose to go amk eat. ended up in hougang. but its still okies. der food is
nice uhh. thn jerrold treat us go arcade. der whole lot ob us. hahas. ii tried my drum. just can't seem to pass
destiny lover tat song. plus. its only basic. so
lousy lahhs. lucky jerrold caught a soft toy. he super lucky de lahhs. hahas. thn he say wan give
cynthia. lol..
11:50 PM
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
dar dar, ur mummy called miie in der morning. and told miie how euu were getting along inside.. it really breaks my heart. how could they do tat to euu? after all euu are also a human. is singapore so short ob water? ii am super worried fer euu. ii dunnoe if smoking is allowed inside. but if euu had ur carving fer cigarettes how? euu started smoking becus ob miie. ii think ii really ruined ur life. sobs. ii heard from ur mum. tat euu cried when euu saw her. how ii wish. ii can embrace euu tightly in my arms now. it really breaks my heart to hear tat. euu were always so strong. der only two times ii saw euu cried was in ur room and der next day tat we broke up. ii never thought tat life in der boys home would be like this. its so unexpected. ii tot tat only life in jail will be liddat. hais.. ii am too naive. dar, pls tolerate. end ob 3 weeks. euu will be out. after tat, ii will treat euu to a nice meal kayys? ii will be visiting euu on friday. ii can't wait to see ur face.. will help euu get some real thick books to kill ur time over there. ii love euu. ii miss euu. ii hope euu miss miie too..
10:38 AM
Monday, November 24, 2008
a million thanks to KHOO ZHEN DONG fer helping miie to change my blogskin. he took alot ob time to do it. and ii appreciate it alot. muakiies. xie xie ni! 1:49 AM
Sunday, November 23, 2008
to my dearest dear dear:
no matter wat euu say, ii still insist on waiting fer euu. ur smile will always be printed into my mind. nothing in this world can replace der one and only unique euu. dun ever say tat euu are nort worth my wait. becus its fer miie to decide and ii noe tat euu are worth it. euu are worth every minute ob my time. my love fer euu is ever lasting true. thus, ii wan to be there fer euu when euu need miie der most. euu are always there when ii needed euu. and ii wan to do likewise. dear dear. rmb miie in ur mind hao mahhs? my smile tat will brighten up ur day.. ii will rmb euu de. everyday ii wake up, euu are always der first thing on my mind. ii always look forward to receiving ur msg first thing in der morning. so please. stop asking miie nort to wait kayys? if euu wan miie to be happy, let miie go through this wit euu.
wit much loves & kisses:
ur baby tigeress.
12:26 PM
Saturday, November 22, 2008
to my dearest:
no matter wat happens. ii just want to be there fer euu. ii wan to be der gurl standing by euu no matter wat happens to euu. please dun cast miie aside. ii noe euu dun wan miie to wait becus euu are afraid tat ii may have to wait very long. but still, ii will wait. wait fer euu to be freed ob all charges. now, ii only want to spent wat little time ii have wit euu. loving euu and caring fer euu. ii am sorries fer all those tantrums ii throw on euu. ii am sorries fer hurting euu. ii wanted euu to be mine and only mine so desperately. tat ii became jealous ob every single gurl tat msg or likes euu. ii was even jealous ob ur sister. becus she gets to spent so much time wit euu. ii just wan to say in this post tat ii am sorries. der memories tat euu had given miie will never be forgortten. in this lifetime. there will only be one man tat is worth fer miie to cry fer, and die fer. and tat man is euu. ii love euu khoo zhen dong. muakiies. 8:57 PM
Friday, November 21, 2008
went to sch today. so bored uhh. wasn't listening to my tutorials at all. no mood. so worried fer zhen dong. ii pray hard fer euu that nth bad will happen on monday. aft lesson. went to find him. was supposed to have dinner uhh. in der end ii wasn't hungry. or rather. both ob us wasn't hungry. started fooling around. thn fell asleep. =.=
today was audrey's prom night. she went wit hang as her date. hahas. hope euu had enjoyed ur prom night. prom only comes once in a lifetime. so ii really hoped tat euu had enjoyed it.
to zhen dong: no matter wat happens to euu. ii will be there fer euu. dun be too nervous when euu go on monday kayys? ii am sorries ii couldn't accompany euu. gort jap test. stupid test. if euu can. let miie noe der result ob ur hearing kayys? -ily-
to firdaus:hey pal. is everything okies? euu haven been attending school lately. if there is anything wrong. ii can be ur listening ear okies? cheer up buddy. ^^
okies. ii was feeling bored. so did this quiz uhh.
1. what kinda boyfriend / girlfriend so euu like?someone who would love miie more than he loves himself.
2. how do euu celebrate your first month?go out wit my love fer a date.
3. do euu felt safe wit your bf / gf?yes. ii feel secure.
4. when euu saw ur stead injured or sick. will euu be there even if euu are busy?ob course. duhh? tats if ii can go out first.
5. what if euu noe tat your ex is still loving euu? even when he/she is single and euu are attached?ii have no idea.
6. are euu single, attached or crushing on someone?single.
7. name out 3 love, sad songs.romance. cry on my shoulder. kissing euu goodbye.
8. wat do euu do when euu and your stead quarrel?depends on der situation.
9. do euu wish to noe tat someone is crushing on euu?maybe?
10. wat if euu are single. and someone gort a crush on euu? would euu accept / reject?depends on who he/she is.
11. when euu fall in love wit someone how euu feel?der feeling cannort be described in words.
12. how many times did euu broke your heart by someone / ex / stead?uncountable.
13. if euu and ur stead quarrel, who would be der one who say sorry?depends on who is at fault.
14. if your stead wants to break der relationship wat will euu do?jump off der building.
15. did your stead give euu any present? what do euu like der most?yes he did. are memories counted?
16. when is der last time euu cry fer someone euu love?20th nov 2008.
17. how long do euu wish to last your relationship?forever wit my love.
18. did your stead kiss euu in public?yes.
11:17 PM
Thursday, November 20, 2008
[ ur kawaii smile will never be forgortten. ]
[ euu using ur handphone. ]
[ our first couple ring tgt. ii still keep it in a precious box. ]
[ euu using der com. ]
[ euu playing drum. ]
[ us fooling around. ]
[ der kiss tat belongs to us only. ]
[ der precious moment at alan's chalet. ]
.jpg)
[ because ii love euu so. ]
[ ii want euu and only euu. ]
[ our first picture tgt. ]
[ der heart euu made fer miie. ]
[ der cute smile on ur face. ]
[ our first baby. ]
[ wat ii did fer euu. ]
11:27 PM
euu just wun believe miie do euu? euu still think tat ii had nort changed right? ii dun understand will my heart is aching so badly now. ii dun understand why ii am cutting myself. to stop my tears from flowing down. ii feel so fcuked up over my coming exams. fcuked up over my emotions. ii hate this feeling. this feeling tat ii have been trying to control ever since euu left miie. my question to euu is. since we both still have such strong attractions fer each other. why make each other's life miserable by nort patching up wit miie? ii have given up on my life etc. there is nth keeping miie from living anymore. ii hate myself. and ii noe euu hate miie too. euu wouldn't listen to my explainations. all euu had in ur brain is wat euu think ii lied to euu abt. ii wun explain anymore. really had enough ob life alr. nevertheless. ii still have to tell euu. ii had
never stopped loving euu since euu came to my life. and ii
still love euu now.
deeply. strongly..
ii love euu khoo zhen dong!!!!!!!!!!tonight. will be der night ii bid euu farewell. 8:47 PM
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
euu was nort meant to be mine. neither was ii meant to be loved. looking at couples on der streets made miie rmb der happy times ii spent wit euu. but all tat was left. are just memories. euu dun wan to give miie another chance to love euu. so ii guess this is it. its just a fling kinda thing between miie and euu.
love never dies a natural death. It dies because we dunnoe how to replenish its source. It dies ob blindness, errors and betrayals. It dies ob illness and wounds. It dies ob weariness, ob witherings and ob tarnishings.
till
DEATH do us apart.
12:21 PM
Monday, November 17, 2008
[ because ii love euu so. ]
because ii love euu. ii dun wan to get hurt by euu anymore. ii dun wan to reach a stage where ii start to hate euu. ii am sorries. when euu are done thinking. when euu finally noe wat euu wan. thn euu come and find miie. my mind will always be filled wit euu where ever ii go.
audrey babe sent miie to sch this morning. aft tat she went to der arcade to play drum. during lunch she came back to accompany miie eat lunch. tat was sweet ob her. thank you fer accompanying miie when ii am down. aft sch ii went to amk hub wit her. we did painting. like kids. okies. ii gort a truckload ob photos to upload. but ii dun have der cd. still its kinda difficult fer miie to upload..will try to upload when ii get der cd. hahas. we are super childish. but it was fun okies. at least. it made miie forget my sadness fer a moment.
loves.
9:37 PM
went to interview wit audrey le. thn we went suntec. der foodfair. wahahas. food!! lol. okies. ii sound like a total pig. took some photos. will upload it when ii am nort feeling so lazy. hahas.
to him:
actually. ii am rather confused. euu gave miie der feelings ob being your stead. yet. euu dun wan to patch back wit miie. so wat so euu want from miie? sometimes when ii receive sweet msges from euu. ii am happy. however its like euu are sometimes nice. sometimes nort nice to miie. my nort nice refers to euu ignoring miie at times. can euu please tell miie wat euu wan? and nort leave miie hanging here anymore?
now euu tell miie euu dunnoe wat euu wan. it broke my heart into pieces. ii wun talk to euu anymore. euu are nort meant to be mine. fcuk. how ii wish ii can die now. straight. ii have no idea why this heartbreak was more painful than der first. ii am keen to go les alr. ii gave up on guys. euu toyed wit my feelings over and over again. toy wit my feelings. toy wit my life. EVERYTHING WAS MY ONE SIDED LOVE.
12:10 AM
Sunday, November 16, 2008
why dun he understand miie? ii wanted to accompany him go work. is because ii dun wan him to feel bored going there alone. but he just dun understand miie isn't it. nbm. forget it. seems like when euu are wit ur friends. ii am forgortten. so be it thn. ii dun wanna bother alr.. euu are nort mine to begin wit. so, ii dun have der right to bother also.
ii am going out wit audrey go interview ltr. she going my previous job hotel there to work. hahas. so tat aft my sch ends, when holidays begins. she can pei miie work tgt. chiong work tgt. and forget abt all my worries. all my troubles.
ii hate myself fer loving euu. 12:11 PM
Saturday, November 15, 2008
[ first and second failed attempt ]
[ third successful attempt ]
[ her first time cooking yo. ]
[ miie ]
[ firdaus and xiao jing ]
[ xiao jing and miie ]
[ miie and firdaus ]
[ yu fang and miie ]
[ xiao jing and her fans. lol. ]
[ kai tang and yu fang ]
[ firdaus solo!]
10:23 PM
was he meant to be mine in der first place? ii dun understand wat he is thinking nor wat he wants from miie. ii just wan to noe if he regards miie as a stead or wat. because he didn't wan to give miie der status ob being attached. ii dunnoe how ii should face him at times. ii dunnoe wat he really thinks abt miie. does he love miie? or he loves his daughter? ii seriously dunnoe. wat am ii in his heart? these questions have been bothering miie fer very long.
ii noe up till now. audrey still loves miie. its just tat she ain't ready fer a relationship yet ii guess. ii am very confused now. ii dunnoe which path ii should take..
today wake up realised ii gort a very sickening headache and abit ob fever. so stupid nia. vision on my right eye is still blurr. wonder when it will recover.. siianx.. staying at home fer der whole weekend because ob my stupid eye. argg..
nevertheless. to kzd:
THANK YOU FOR FIXING MY COM!!I LOVE EUU ALOT! 2:10 PM
Friday, November 14, 2008
went to sch today despite my fcuking headache.
chloe said ii look cute wit my specs on.
xiao jing said she love miie today.
wahahas. ii am touched. xD
xiao jing ii love euu too.. wahahahas..went to zd house today. xiao jing pei miie there. cus my eyes nort feeling well. thn we went NTUC buy food to cook at his house.. hehe.. felt like ii was his lao po. help lao gong prepare dinner. so tat lao gong come home frm work le will have a very delicious dinner to eat. hahas. it was my first time frying seaweed chicken and jing jing first time cooking porridge. hahas. ii tried fer two attempts. hmm. will upload der pics when ii gort der time. hahas. euu will be shocked at der colour man. hahas. too bad ii am nort his stead uhh. if nort it would had been a very sweet thing to do fer ur boyfriend. perhapes ii was never meant to be loved.
sometimes ii really wonder if ii should go back to audrey.
because at least she gives miie der security ii need.
ii was viewing his pictures in his phone today.
saw der pic ob his daughter n jia wei.
felt super fcuked up.
yet. ii tolerated.
ii dunnoe why ii am feeling this way.
ii hate to feel this way.
ii am really considering to go back to audrey. hais.
12:32 PM
Thursday, November 13, 2008
happy birthday to euu.happy birthday to euu.happy birthday to hui xiang..happy birthday to euu!kenna sore eyes since ytd. now vision blur blur de. thn my stupid com kenna virus. now super irritated. trying to remove der god damn virus. if cannort remove. ii go reformat com alr. its too irritating. why mus people even create virus in der first place?! curse those hackers. hope they die earlier! chee bye lahhs.to tat special person:dun treat miie so well because ii dun deserve it.dun toy wit my feelings because ii dun wanna get heartbroken again.ii am still afraid ob guys like how euu are afraid ob gurls. so why nort lets just start afresh and forget abt der fcuking past tat have hurt us?why nort lets make a new happy relationship fer we both to share? 8:21 PM
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
ii noe who ii love alr. but ii dun wan to fall in love wit tat special someone. tat someone didn't want to patch. and thus. ii noe wat ii should do alr. ii am tired. ii wanna be attached to someone ii love. but ii guess. ii was never meant to be loved.
10:43 PM
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
11:14 PM
[ ur kawaii smile will never be forgortten. ]
[ euu using ur handphone. ]
[ our first couple ring tgt. ii still keep it in a precious box. ]
[ euu using der com. ]
[ euu playing drum. ]
[ us fooling around. ]
[ der kiss tat belongs to us only. ]
[ der precious moment at alan's chalet. ].jpg)
[ because ii love euu so. ]
[ ii want euu and only euu. ]
[ our first picture tgt. ]
[ der heart euu made fer miie. ]
[ der cute smile on ur face. ]
[ our first baby. ]
[ wat ii did fer euu. ] 
[ because ii love euu so. ]
[ first and second failed attempt ]
[ third successful attempt ]
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