Thursday, September 18, 2008

fcuk fcuk fcuk..
fcuk miie..

when two people are in love & are tgt..
tats called bliss..
when two loving people are in love & can't be tgt..
tats called misfortunate..
when two loving people are in love & a third party appears,
tat third party is a bitch..
when only one person is loving der other,
its called a one-sided love..
tat ii am tat idiot..

ii only have myself to be blamed fer wat ii had done,
ii only have myself to be blamed fer this failed relationship..
ii am alr feeling miserable enough alr..
wat else do euu wan from miie??
death??
do euu wan my life??
ii will only be happier to give it to euu..
parting is such sweet sorrows..

ii am hurt time and again by euu..
my heart has died long ago..
wats fer fcuking point ob living on??

audrey, ii am sorries fer letting euu wait fer miie.. ii dun think euu should wait fer miie anymore.. ii am planning to ruin my life fer him.. ii dun think he will care.. but heck lahhs.. ii dun care anymore.. and ii dun wan to care anymore.. ii am going insane soon.. lalala~~~

-- because ii knew ii was never important to you. 5:06 PM5:06 PM

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

wat euu said were lies to miie..
wat we did all just part ob a dream..
part ob a beautiful dream..
wat awaits miie is reality..

ii guess ii should reallie convert alr.. its pointless because he dun love miie anymore.. he alr held hands wit his daughter.. my life or death, dun matters to him anymore.. audrey, ii love euu..

-- because ii knew ii was never important to you. 3:29 PM3:29 PM

Monday, September 15, 2008

today was supposed to be our 2 yr anniversary.. if euu were still wit miie.. and my birthday.. ii am destined to have a bad birthday since my sec 3 birthday.. thanks fer der birthday gift zhen dong gave miie.. it made miie happy, sad & touched to see der gift.. anyway, thanks fer those who wished miie happie birthday...

since ii am unwanted n unloved.. ii dunnoe if ii should convert.. at least gurls are nort so cold hearted isn't it?? my birthday wish, will never come true.. and ii guess, ii just have to move on wit audrey as my pillar ob support.. he dun love miie le..

sorries audrey fer nort msging euu much today.. ii was wit my ex.. ii will msg euu more cus ii noe euu miss miie.. will try my best nort to hurt euu de.. because euu are a nice gurl tat dun deserve to be hurt by guys..

-- because ii knew ii was never important to you. 10:07 PM10:07 PM

Sunday, September 14, 2008

ii am so confused now.. ii dunnoe if ii am straight, lesbian or bisexual..
ytd night, audrey confessed to miie.. she said she liked miie.. there was tis happie feeling in my heart.. but ii still like zhen dong.. ii am so confused now.. ii wanna accept her.. but ii just can't do it..

audrey is a nice gurl.. friday night, ii went to meet her, shan heng & vicky fer der first time.. shan heng & vicky are her friends.. they were nice to miie.. especially audrey.. ii noe she converted to a lesbian because she had witness her dad hitting her mum, and how her brother is playing wit his gurlfriends.. its quite a sad thing to hear.. maybe because ob tat barrier, she can nv be straight again.. i dunnoe.. as we gurls sat at der playground & talk.. ii reallie enjoy stroking her hair.. sayang-ing her.. it reminds miie o zhen dong sayang-ing miie in der past.. but wats past is alr past.. somehow, seeing der sadness in her face, ii feel like giving her a kiss to make her happie.. ii am still at a dilemma if ii am a bi, straight or les.. ii am reallie confused.. ii do have feelings fer her but ii can't put him down.. ii can't forget him.. but ii guess, its okies if ii convert because ii gort too many heartbreaks by guys right?? ii mean, ii reallie need love now.. so desperately... its okies to be a les as long as there is people tat still love miie in this world right?? but ii am also afraid tat ii would hurt audrey if he decides to return to miie one day.. ii am so confused now..

audrey said tat she will try her best to jio miie after her o levels.. hopefully, she will bring miie more happiness than heartbreaks bahhs..

tml is my birthday and ii noe something bad is bound to happen.. ever since my sec 3 birthday.. something bad will befall on my birthday.. so ii guess, ii will be prepared to receive more heartbreaks from him.. hais..

audrey.. ii think ii reallie do need euu..

-- because ii knew ii was never important to you. 7:11 PM7:11 PM

Saturday, September 13, 2008

sorries but ii just love euu..
sorries to my friends fer making euu worry..
but ii reallie can't forget him..
ii simply love him..

-- because ii knew ii was never important to you. 10:02 PM10:02 PM

Friday, September 12, 2008

II DUN WAN TO BE FRIENDS WIT EUU!! ii wanna be ur stead.. ii wan to hugg euu, kiss euu & love euu..

der mental toil ob thinking ob euu just sucks..
der pain ob seeing euu wit another gurl hurts..
so wat??
do euu even care abt my pain??
no euu dun..
euu wan to continue hurting miie more..
ii judt dun understand wat is going on in your mind..
will someone just enlighten miie??

-- because ii knew ii was never important to you. 11:55 AM11:55 AM

Thursday, September 11, 2008

ii guess nobody wants miie now..
my hopes are dashed..
he doesn't even wish to contact miie now..
nevertheless, ii still love euu alot..
anytime euu wanna come back to miie, ii will still accept euu..
just treat miie as your spare bahhs..
ii dun mind alr..
as long as ii can be wit euu..
nth matters anymore..

ii noe ii can never get euu back alr..
but after all der memories ii had wit euu..
its hard to forget euu..
so damn fcuking difficult..
how ii wish ii can die now..
thn ii wun have to think anymore..
thinking makes miie go crazy..

ii am nort as good as your daughter..
ii lost my confidence in myself..
ii can't love myself..
how can ii love euu??
ii am unworthy fer euu..
ii sucks..

-- because ii knew ii was never important to you. 12:53 PM12:53 PM

Monday, September 8, 2008

drink drank drunk..
ii dunnoe why ii am doing such things fer euu..
ii just wan a simple solution out ob my misery i guess..
tried alot ob things..sniffing glue..drinking cough syrup..
drinking alchohol..
getting myself drunk in der middle ob der night..
yet, ii still can't forget euu..

insanity is driving miie crazy..
ii am nort good enough fer euu..i
i suck..

-- because ii knew ii was never important to you. 10:31 PM10:31 PM

Thursday, September 4, 2008

ii just love euu..
missing since 4th sept..

-- because ii knew ii was never important to you. 3:06 PM3:06 PM

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

ii get to meet euu today.. finally.. been waiting fer this day.. fer very long alr.. ii reallie miss euu so much.. so damn much.. ii am afraid euu would hurt miie again.. but ii guess, there is no way my heart can be broken alr.. its only miie clinging to this relationship.. sometimes ii feel like a despo.. ii am like so unwanted & yet ii still begg fer euu to return to miie.. even though ii noe.. ii am nort even on par wit jia wei & your daughter.. ii feel like thrash sometimes.. unwanted thrash..

thank you fer meeting miie today.. yes, euu did made miie very happie.. but my heart was still broken in der end.. seeing der cards his ''daughter'' wrote to him.. ii realised.. she was so much better than miie.. ii am never good at words.. ii dunnoe how to please euu.. ii am nort a good stead..

why can't ii just have someone ii love to be wit miie??
am ii reallie tat unworthy ob euu??
wat happen to der love we made tgt??
der memories we created..
its our love tgt right??
ii reallie can't put euu down..
ii reallie can't forget euu..
euu are so important to miie..
ii reallie can't live without euu..
why wouldn't euu return to miie..
this question ii have been asking myself..
my conclusion..
ii am an unwanted thrash tat nobody wants..
ii have failed to keep euu by my side..
ii am a loser..
such a pathetic loser..

ii am tired ob life & tired ob pretending..

-- because ii knew ii was never important to you. 10:39 AM10:39 AM

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

baby~~
ii love euu~~
ii reallie do~~~

my body is collapsing..
ii guess ii am reallie tired..

ii wan to love euu like euu love miie..
ii wan to hugg & kiss euu..
ii wan to do lots ob romantic things wit euu..
but ii noe euu no longer wan miie..
nobody wans miie..
sigh..
ii am such a loser..
hahas..
loser..

-- because ii knew ii was never important to you. 7:51 PM7:51 PM

Monday, September 1, 2008

ii need your love so badly..
ii feel as if ii am going crazy becus ob it..
ii feel like it was a mistake to be borne into this world..
knowing miie was your misfortunate..
ii am nort worthy fer euu..
euu were right..
ii am just a selfish gurl..
ii dunnoe wat ii am living fer..
pls end my misery fer miie..

ii am all out ob love..
ii am so lost without euu..
ii noe euu were right..
believing fer so long..

-- because ii knew ii was never important to you. 3:55 PM3:55 PM