its been so long since ii felt der real feeling ob being happy.. yesterday ii went out wit audrey.. we went studying tgt.. ii am a happy gurl once more.. she taught miie econs.. ii was quite ashame.. cus ii am 17 and she is only 16 and she is teaching miie.. abit xia suay.. but nbm.. at least ii gort to see her.. aft tat ii pei her go jurong point study.. her o levels is coming.. so is zhen dong's o level.. ii hope he is preparing well fer his o levels.. as fer audrey, ii dun have to worry.. she is confident in herself.. hope she gets her 7 A1s.. ii will pray hard fer der both ob euu.. before she left, she gave miie a farewell kiss and a warm little hugg.. there was this warm nice feeling in my heart..

although audrey said tat she will only ask miie fer stead aft her o levels, ii think she alr regards miie as her gurlfren alr..

its been 88 days since euu left miie.. ii guess ii reallie changed alot.. from a normal cheerful gurl.. to an emo sad gurl.. thn converting to a lesbian.. its hard.. but ii guess ii can still manage.. since ii almost turn into a les when ii was in pri sch..well, euu said ii can choose if ii wan to turn into a lesbian.. ii guess ii choose to b one.. becus ever since euu left, ii didn't have interest in guys anymore.. sometimes, singaporean guys complain tat singaporean gurls are too demanding.. thus, they decided to go fer vietnam gurls, china gurls.. yet they didn't tink abt this.. out ob all der guys in der world, only one tenth ob them are good guys.. and these good guys are either attached or gay.. thus, if euu observe carefully, more gurls are turning into lesbians becus guys jus suck??

to euu: ii guess ii had reallie hurt euu in der past, therefore ii choose to avid euu.. maybe ii just wan to avoid this reality tat euu have left my life.. ii noe tat euu dun love miie anymore.. neither do ii noe why ii am still feeling sad over euu.. but ii guess audrey will help miie overcome my unhappiness..

ii used to love euu..
ii used to miss euu..
ii used to hate euu..
but now, ii still yearn fer euu..
why am ii such a stupid gurl..
ii have no idea myself..
ii simply love euu..
and ii hate myself fer loving euu..