ii am posting in der middle ob der night.. ii couldn't sleep.. after hearing wat from him.. if ii were to go his house tml, ii would get very very hurt.. ii couldn't believe my own eyes.. ii am alr hurt now.. and he wants miie to get more hurt?? wat der fcuk is happening to my life?? ii used my bare hands to destroy my wonderful life.. ii realie did.. now, he want miie to taste my own medicine.. ii am tasting it now.. taking panadols two by two and popping them into my mouth.. feels great to die.. after all, when euu die, euu wun have to feel der sufferings in earth.. ii wouldn't be going your house tml.. even if ii do, it would be to clean up ur house.. after tat, perhapes, euu wouldn't see miie forever.. and euu wouldn't have to see my face ever again.. ii would be waiting fer euu in heaven.. ii would watch over euu like an angel.. euu would be happie without miie in ur life.. seriously...
ii asked euu fer der last chance to patch wit euu.. euu wouldn't give miie.. perhapes ii reallie changed euu to a very cold blooded creature.. ii did.. allow miie to atone fer my sins.. ii will love euu.. deep down in my heart till der last moment ob death.. to my last breathe.. euu may think this is rubbish.. but wat ii said will be done. by hook or by crook.
at around 8.30 am, he came to find miie.. we spent a long time talking & clarifying things.. because things were nort going too well fer us, ii decided to commit sucide.. ii took 10 panadol pills out to der park.. ii wanted so much to swallow them in front ob him.. instead, he snatched 9 pills away from miie & swallowed them down himself.. ii was loss at words.. ii didn't want him to die.. ii was der one tat hurt euu despite der love euu gave miie.. so why should euu die fer miie?? why couldn't euu let miie die & end my sufferings?? after he left, ii took 5 pills & went to sleep.. after ii woke up, ii didn't feel too well.. luckily, ii didn't eat anything fer der whole day.. so ii had nth to vomit out also..
around 7 pm, ii had this bad omen tat something was gonna happen to him.. so ii rush down to his house right after ii bathed.. luckily, he was still alive when ii reached there.. he wasn't looking good.. he had swallowed 18 panadol pills.. his face was pale & he kept vomitting.. it realie broke my heart to see him suffering because ob miie. ii noe he loved miie wit all his heart.. yet ii lied to him fer a friend tat ii just made.. ii realie feel ery bad.. very guilty.. ii wanted to kill myself so much.. kill myself fer hurting him so much.. ii am so heartless.. heartless enough to lie to a guy who loved miie so much.. ii reallie reallie am sorries.. yet, euu wouldn't return to miie anymore... ii regretted so much wat ii had done to hurt euu.. i wanna hold euu close & never let euu leave miie again.. however, euu were nort mine anymore.. no matter how sorries ii am, it can never change der fact tat euu wouldn't return to miie anymore... sometimes, ii reallie wanna die.. die because euu are nort by my side anymore... above are der pictures ob my ex lover.. he is a very nice guy... and ii love him lots.. but when ii finally noe how to cherish him, he had left miie.. ii pray tat nth will happen to euu tonight.. ii would rush to your house first thing in der morning..
lonely..
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